The Virtues of a Wife vs. the Cruelty of Men

For everyone left her; even the flatterers fled with the wealth, and friends measured their friendship by the season of prosperity. If they did happen to appear, their presence was a reproach rather than a visit; a burden of misfortune, not a consolation. Therefore, all the bad comforters withdrew from him.

But she, who was once distinguished by her toil, stayed with her husband, leaving aside the filth and pulling out the worms of the wounds. Thus, she was a partner of his life, not a companion of his prosperity; an inseparable friend, not a flatterer of pleasures; leaving behind only all kindness, all most-dear qualities, and all kinship.

Therefore, out of extreme and excessive friendship for a man, and toward the sin of blasphemy, she fell, so that the man might not be punished for a long time, nor see him in unmanageable pains, by saying a blasphemous word toward God, advising him and that he might undergo a swift end. For she did not consider her own remaining misfortune, that of widowhood; but she had only one concern, how the man might escape an unlivable life. These things, along with the new trial and the memory of the old, instruct the wedding-insulter.

What then would the one responsible for the accusation say toward these things? And what kind of fair-faced defense of his own ease would he put forward? 'Worthless,' he says, 'and worthy of hatred is the character of the woman, and her tongue is impudent, and her manner is not domestic, and her management is lawless.' Let it be so; let it be granted. I am completely persuaded and I accept, that judges who are not very precise in hearing easily are dragged along by the attacks of the accusers.

But you say: 'While leading the beginning, did you not know that you were connecting with a human? And having heard of a human, does one not immediately see a small sin following? For God's alone is the ungraspable. Do you not yourself sin? And do you not cause grief to the woman by your manner? And are you innocent of all wrongdoing and do you keep the institution of living together without corruption?'

O how much chance of rebuke your wife brought! And how many ready insults and indecent words she endured! And how many of your faults are kept silent, because the woman did not publish them! She endured you even while you were becoming angry and your spirit was boiling; and the free and equal one was silenced.

She was like a slave from a market. She did not reproach you for not providing the necessities for the conduct of life due to poverty or stinginess. Nor did she ever reject you after coming from a banquet, having drunk wine and being out of her mind because she hated drunkenness; rather, she received you with human sympathy, and she led you, who were punishing yourself, and she treated the head with the vapors of the wine being poured out. And she alone, sympathizing, led you to the marriage bed, while the servants were laughing and mocking the excess from the drunkenness.

But you, bypassing the amphorae, sing songs against the woman on cold pretexts, so that you might prepare sympathy for yourself for the imminent division. The mind of such men is hard, beastly and unmerciful, having a birth from oak or stone, according to what is said. For they are cut off indifferently, erasing the memory of all at once.

But who, instead of healing a sick limb, cuts it off, and this not having considered a dangerous disease, but having much hope for an easy cure? A blister occurred on the hand, let us treat it carefully; an inflammation pursued the foot, let us settle the irritation with medicine. And if, being present, we had attended to the physicians' inspection regarding the incision and the iron, and had occupied ourselves with each of those who were suffering, we would not have lost even a small amount of life's time, but would have amputated ourselves for all the limbs.

But not so, O men; let there be some memory of the punishments; let the healings of women make you ashamed. However much you may be provoked, if you withstand the pangs of a single birth against the reproaches, you will find the situation of those who suffer to be conquered.

Let the calculation be referred to the middle, and let the good things be included in the goodwill: the healing of diseases, the sharing of misfortunes, the tears presented to some on behalf of a husband, the leaving of those she gave birth to and the parental table to follow a stranger, the selling of something of her own so that she might drive away the insolence and trouble of the husband. Let all these things instruct toward a disposition and let them become a bond of affection, such as a more modest house awakening and holding together the easily slipping soul. But let mercy prevail, and habit, and living together for a long time, let it not be struck by...