No Other Name and Prison Turned Bearable
Perpetua herself now speaks in her prison diary, recording her refusal of her father, her baptism, and her first suffering in prison.
While we were still with the escorts, my father kept at me with his pleas. He loved me, and he tried to turn me from my course and break me down. "Father," I said, "you see that vessel lying there, for example, a little pitcher or something else?" "I see it," he said. "Can it be called by any other name than what it is?" I said to him. "No," he said. "So I also cannot call myself anything other than what I am, a Christian." Roused by that word, my father lunged at me as though to tear out my eyes. He only harassed me, and then he left, defeated along with the arguments of the devil.
When I had been without my father for a few days, I gave thanks to the Lord, and I got relief from his absence. In that span of a few days we were baptized, and the Spirit prompted me to seek nothing from the water except endurance of the flesh. A few days later we were taken into prison. I was terrified, because I had never experienced such darkness. What a harsh day it was! The crowd pressed hard and the heat was fierce, and the soldiers jostled us roughly. In the end I was worn down by worry for my baby there.
Tertius and Pomponius, the blessed deacons who served us, paid a bribe so that we could be let out for a few hours and might get relief in a better part of the prison. Once we had come out of the cell, everyone else attended to their own concerns. I nursed my baby, who was already failing from hunger. Anxious for him, I spoke to my mother, I encouraged my brother, and I entrusted my son. I myself was wasting away, because I saw them wasting away on my account. I suffered such worries for many days, and then I claimed as my right that my baby should stay with me in prison. He grew strong at once, and I was lifted from the strain and worry for my baby. The prison suddenly became a headquarters for me, so that I would rather have been there than anywhere else.
Latin
Cum adhuc, inquit, cum prosecutoribus essemus et me pater uerbis auertere et deicere pro sua affectione perseueraret: Pater, inquam, uides, uerbi gratia, uas hoc iacens, urceolum siue aliud? Et dixit: Video. Et ego dixi ei: Numquid alio nomine uocari potest quam quod est? Et ait: Non. Sic et ego aliud me dicere non possum nisi quod sum, Christiana. Tunc pater motus hoc uerbo mittit se in me, ut oculos mihi erueret; sed uexauit tantum, et profectus est uictus cum argumentis diaboli. Tunc paucis diebus quod caruissem patrem, domino gratias egi, et refrigeraui absentia illius. In ipso spatio paucorum dierum baptizati sumus; et mihi spiritus dictauit non aliud petendum ab aqua nisi sufferentiam carnis. Post paucos dies recipimur in carcerem: et expaui, quia numquam experta eram tales tenebras. O diem asperum! Aestus ualidus turbarum beneficio, concussurae militum. Nouissime macerabar sollicitudine infantis ibi. Tunc Tertius et Pomponius, benedicti diaconi qui nobis ministrabant, constituerunt praemio ut paucis horis emissi in meliorem locum carceris refrigeraremus. Tunc exeuntes de carcere uniuersi sibi uacabant: ego infantem lactabam iam inedia defectum; sollicita pro eo adloquebar matrem et confortabam fratrem, commendebam filium; tabescebam ideo quod illos tabescere uideram mei beneficio. Tales sollicitudines multis diebus passa sum, et usurpaui ut mecum infans in carcere maneret; et statim conualuit et releuata sum a labore et sollicitudine infantis, et factus est mihi carcer subito praetorium, ut ibi mallem essem quam alicubi.